Writer's Block: Bless you!
Out of all things that I could be allergic to... SUEDE ?!?! like i seriously get hives every time it touches me /=

What are you allergic to?

Writer's Block: Out of this world
What would you name a new planet?

Catching up.
 Well I haven't been on here in a while since I'm using my boyfriend's lap top & we broke up so his stupid Dad took it.  Zach & I broke up because he didn't like my friend of 8 years. I fucked up and after he told me he was done for good this time, I kissed another dude. We went through a lot after that, he is still having problems trusting me but were working through it. I absolutely love Zachary & I honestly don't think anything could ever, & I mean EVER, change that. He is my world & yeah sometimes we do say things we don't mean. We still love each other in the end though. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him. Yeah, I made a mistake; everyone does & no one is perfect what so ever. I mean we both think were forever & this is the first time I've actually believed a guy on that note... I know Zach legit loves me, sometimes I wonder if I REALLY love him, then I look at him <3 Then I realize; this kid makes me more happy than anyone else ever has. He literally completes me; & every part of me is happy when he looks at me; much less touches me. I love my baaaaaaabbbbyy(: I just wanna be pregnant...

fml /=
 So I haven't seen my boyfriend in two days & were normally together every single day. He comes over & goes to bed. So I start crying; of course. I fucking missed him. Then he wants to get all mad because I start crying. YES, I am a female. Females are way more sensitive than most guys. How the hell are you gonna' get mad? That's fucked up. I'm so done, there's nothing more I can do. I'm tired of crying & being depressed all the time. I do love him with all my heart but what else am I supposed to do. When I do try to talk to him, he says I'm bitching. Well maybe you shouldn't do shit for me to bitch about. He was drunk & why we was having sex, he asked to fuck my friend or another girl? I guess I'm not good enough. I don't know what to do anymore, I know he loves me because most of the time he is the sweetest thing & everything I could ask for, but when he's not; it's pretty hard to handle him. I really do just want someone to love me. That's it. I know my parents love me a LITTLE bit but I need legit love. I've been hurt so fucking much & I have no clue what I did to deserve this? Yes, I stole my best friends EX when she treated him like shit, but that's not  enough to deserve this. Sometimes I feel so alone & wanna die, but I know that's not the answer. My cousin killed himself & I just wanna ask him what happened when he did it. Was it the right thing? Are you safe  where you're at now? Happy? Or does it suck? I just wanna know but I'm not strong enough to find out. I just don't wanna hurt anymore. I really don't. It sucks so bad, I wouldn't wish this upon anyone, it is the worst feeling I have ever had & I've had a lot of bad feelings in my life. For a 15 year old, I have been through a hell of a lot. I wish I would have made smarter decisions back when I was 13, I'd be fine now. I wouldn't know what hurt is, nor love. I'd be fine. FML!  

Well I'm pretty pissed today too. I just woke up & already know it's a bad day. UGH! I set my alarm for noon so I could wake up and go tan, well I forgot my phone was on vibrate & of course it's 4:00. Now I can't tan plus I'm starving. & It's not like I can go in the kitchen & grab something because here's the items of my fridge; Dr.Pepper, 2 Mountain dews, a catfish, & baking soda. We have tons of condiments though. Our freezer legit has nothing in there. NOT A DAMN THING; EMPTY. I hate having lazy, sack of shit parents. Yeah we could get food but my Dad wants to spend all of his money on fucking toys. TOYS! My brother touched like one & my Dad went off. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I mean yeah I guess since my Dad has random seizures & can't really do much, it's a hobby. I don't think you have  to spend 2000 $ on stupid toys though. Oh & we got this comic book that is gonna get us a lot of money; I won't see a bit. I maybe have 4 shirts & 2 shorts, no pants. My step mom gets new clothes like every week & brags right in my face. I want to call cps sometimes but I can't. I love my Dad too much, I blame it all on my step mom. Stupid cunt. She's prescribed every pain pill in the book & the only was she's not cussing me and her son out is if she don't run out. I'll whoop her if she gets in my face one more fucking time; I swear. Oh and I'm out of ciggs which completely SUCKS. That just means I'm gonna bitch more. Oh well, I'm super tired but I can't go to sleep because I want to go to sleep early tonight instead of at 6 in the morning. Well I'm about to get ready because my amazing boyfriend's coming over later. bye <3

Writer's Block: Stomach pains
If you had to participate in an eating contest, what food would you pick to eat?

Chicken, I  LOVE me some chicken like a getto girl <3 Or pizza, I  go CRAZY over some pizza too. I love FFOODD <3

Writer's Block: Going for the throat
Would you rather be a vampire or a vampire hunter, and why?

I would  be a vampire! Have you seen True Blood? Them vampires are amazing! They're so fast, & their libido can go for days! PLUS; have you seen how they just eat people, that's awesome. They cry blood but they don't have any blood in them. There's so much more, but they're  so awesome.

Writer's Block: Born again
If you were reincarnated as an animal, which would you choose to be in your next life, and why?

I'd be a cat, I LOVE cats. One day I will be the crazy cat lady I swear.  They're so elegant & lovable. People don't like cats because they don't listen to them, they're just smarter than dogs & do what they want. They're fucking amazing <3

Writer's Block: No refunds
What is your biggest regret? Did you learn from it or does it still plague you?

My biggest regret would be dating the guy that took my virginity, I found out what being really hurt feels like too early in life. I also wish I never  dated him because I want to be a virgin so I can wait for the special one, sex is addicting. It still haunts me because you will always love your first and now I can't be in a relationship without trust issues.

Writer's Block: FWB
Sure, the pros are obvious—but what are the cons of having a friend with benefits?

The cons would be loosing an amazing friend & I've had that happen before & I still miss him as  a friend. We caught feelings & dated & now it's hard to be bestfriends like we was before. I could always have  him back but I don't want that; I want my bestfriend back.


Log in

No account? Create an account